Yesterday was the first time in awhile I cooked dinner. It was just me and Gianna, matt was working late. I had made tacos for dinner and a chickpea salad which is such an easy side dish or even snack, Im going to give you the recipe I use. Anytime I am in the kitchen by the counter Gianna just knows that I am cooking or there is food up there and she immediately wants it. She screams and screams for me to pick her up so she can see what she’s missing out on. I needed to cook dinner so I made her a quick pb&j sandwich with my new cut-n-seal from pampered chef. This gave me a total of 10-15 mins to prep. I had no idea my daughter was going to be so crazy when it came to food I literally cannot eat or have food out in front of her. Anyone else babies like this?!? It is so exhausting, sad to say but I have hid in the bathroom to eat a snack lol.
I made it through her temper tantrum, I cooked dinner and I was happy. I prepped her plate so that I could also enjoy dinner. I always find it hard for me to actually enjoy my meal because I’m so busy trying to make sure she has enough food, she’s drinking her water, picking up the food she dropped, and the list goes on. Im still trying to figure out ways to make eating our meals easier so if anyone has helpful tips let me know =) Side note- its usually just me and her since my husbands hours are all over the place so thats why its been so difficult for me to work through this.
Clearly loving her food
Chickpea Salad:
1-2 cans of chickpeas ( one can is good for 2 people )
1 red onion
1/2 cup of feta crumbles
1/4 cup of cherry tomatoes
Salt & pepper to taste
Olive oil or a mixture of mayo & honey dijon with a little bit of sweet relish.
** don’t add too much honey dijon it could be a bit spicy. **
If someone would of told me a year ago how much I would rely on my parents when I had a baby I would of thought you were lying. This past week has been tough. Gianna not only had coxsackie but she also has FOUR MOLARS coming in. Yes you read that correctly 4 of them. One morning she was up and ready to go by 6am and I absolutely was not. There we were in the living room 6:30am watching cartoons , sun is rising and I’m trying to figure out how I’m getting through this day. My husband was leaving for work at 9:30 and the thought of just going through the day by myself was giving me anxiety. I called up my parents and asked if they were around I’d like to come visit for the day, they said “no problem come on over.”
I got there a little before noon, they live about 45 mins away in Queens right on the beach. My brother was also there for the day, it was his FDNY family picnic right on the beach a block away. We went down for a few hours, Gianna ran around, I was able to sit down and relax for a bit, and my parents happily watched her. Thinking back to when I was growing up I always had a good relationship with my dad, my mom and I had a rocky one and still kinda do. Part of me thinks she’s trying to make up for our failed relationship through Gianna. She is their pride and joy, its like life started all over again for them. Anyway, after our beach day we went back home and had dinner, I started getting Gianna ready to go when my dad says ” we will keep her overnight, you and matt get some sleep.” I swear to god there were tears in my eyes. I was so happy and so appreciative in that moment you’d think I had just won the lottery. A full nights sleep? I don’t have to wake up 4x with a screaming baby? I can sleep past 630am?? What is that like??? I graciously accepted, I put her to bed and was on my way. I got home and told matt the good news- I think we were both asleep by 11pm. We slept like the dead not waking once until 8am and i stayed in bed a little longer just cause I could. It was a rainy dreary morning we had coffee and breakfast together in peace! My parents didn’t bring her back until the afternoon. In the matter of 2.5 seconds she destroyed the living room and her toys were all over the floor, but it was ok. I had a full nights sleep, I got to recharge, I spent time with my husband and I was ready for her. I think my parents could see that I was struggling when I went to their house, they could see how exhausted I was mentally and emotionally.
It truly is the little things in life that mean the most. Children that get to grow up with their grandparents in their lives are so lucky.
Hey everyone! Hope you all had a good weekend!! We just got in a little while ago, spent the day at the beach with my family, such a picture perfect day too. So I want to give you a little backstory as to why I decided to go ahead and start my own blog. Ive been a mom for a little over a year now, and let me tell you…..I don’t know how I have survived. I had days that I felt like they would never end, then there were days that I didn’t want to end. The months leading up to having my daughter everyone would always say “little girls are so much fun, you’re going to love it”, or “motherhood is going to come so natural to you”, and “You’ll figure it out but make sure you enjoy the ride.” I would nod and smile at everyone and say “yes Im so excited for this next chapter I can’t wait”, but part of me was terrified mostly of the unknown. How am I going to raise a baby? I can barely take care of myself somedays. I had my daughter on July 2, 2018- best day of my life. This little peanut looked me in the eyes and from that moment on I knew that I was forever changed, I just didn’t know how much change was going to occur in the following months. Like any new parent, you have to figure out what works best for you and for baby- by 8 weeks we kinda had an idea and somewhat of a schedule or at least I thought so. My daughter would not nap for us, she would cat nap 15 mins here and there max 30 mins. During that span of time I tried to do anything I could- drink my coffee, shower, do the dishes, eat, or attempt to sleep too. Choosing which one of those to do was my biggest battle. She also wasn’t really sleeping too good at night, so sleep deprivation started to hit and it was brutal. During the winter months I was inside a lot with her, too cold to really go for a walk and she was still too small to take her to any of the children gyms/playspaces. I woke up one morning, opened my eyes and I just didn’t want to get out of bed. I had nothing in me, I was so burnt out I couldn’t even function. Too bad though, I had too. I thought I was just in a funk and not feeling good, but I started feeling like this more and more. I didn’t want to get out of bed, I didn’t want to get out of my pjs, I didn’t want to see anyone with the chance of actually having to talk to someone. I cried for no reason, the littlest things would set me off. I would get mad at my husband for leaving and going to work!!! It sounds insane and at the time I knew how crazy it sounded but I was literally mad at him for being able to get out of the house alone, drive in his car alone, eat in peace, or even work out. It hit me out of nowhere POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION. I never thought I would be that person I also didn’t expect it to happen 6 months after I had a baby. I struggled for months I didn’t tell anyone except my husband, I kept a smile on my face when I was out but back at home I cried more times than Id like to admit. I took every chance to get out when my husband was home or when my parents were around- yet the second I left I wanted to go back. No one prepared me for this – the loneliness, the isolation, the loss of my old self. I wish someone would of been brutally honest with me instead of saying “its going to be great”. Yes it was, and still is great but it was really fucking hard, a lot harder than I had imagined. I don’t know why people tend to shy away from speaking about the difficulties of being a new mom, but I wish someone had told me to be prepared for these hard times because they will most likely happen. If you’ve made it this far, thank you for reading this, I appreciate it. I hope you come back for more.
Snuggles and Struggles 